Everyone Tells a Story Differently

2 sides to a story, Quirks and Pearls, Everyone tells a story differently

“There are 3 sides to every story, your side, their side and the truth”

-Unknown

Often times, we are told stories, reports on how things were done or how people were treated. As we listen, we tend to believe wholly what the person speaking is saying and we tend to make judgements based on that. As a result, we act on what we’ve been told, which could be irrational or biased most times.

Being humans, we are likely to tell stories or report something with sentiments and assumptions attached (only professionals try to avoid reporting with sentiments but regardless) and that’s normal. So when someone is telling his/her story, they have a tendency to tell it the way they perceived it to have happened. They explain how they felt, what it made them feel, what they thought someone was inferring, try to justify their actions and so on. Basically, they just tell you the story and explain themselves to you in the process. They tell you why they did what they did. Those of us that listen to them are most likely to understand. So we usually conclude that the other party involved was at fault somehow and often times it affects our judgements.

Related: Accept responsibility for your actions

The truth is, the other party involved also has a story and perhaps if you listened to it, you’ll understand why such party did what they did to your friend. In other words, you get to see the bigger picture.

The best or most genuine side of the story is the one from someone who wasn’t directly involved but witnessed it all. That person usually tells it as it is, from an objective point of view with no bias or sentiments.

I believe there are two(2) things that hurt our relationship with people (whether spouse, friends, colleagues, etc.). They are miscommunication and misunderstanding.

“Miscommunication,
Misunderstanding.
These two cause a lot of harm in many relationships”

I say something and it hurts you. You get angry and start keeping malice. I know you don’t want anything to do with me, so I will also have nothing to do with you.

What just happened there? Misunderstanding and miscommunication.

How? I probably didn’t mean it the way you interpreted it, so you misunderstood me and I also miscommunicated. Also, you refused to discuss it with me and I saw your change in attitude and didn’t talk to you about it. That’s miscommunication. You could have told me, “Look, I don’t like what you said” and probably I’d be like, “I didn’t mean it that way” and explain myself more.

I can go on and on, giving examples of misunderstanding and miscommunication but that is a post for another day. Here’s all I’m trying to say:

  • When you hear a story, report or whatsoever and you are to make judgements, always have in mind that there is a second or third part to the story.
  • Never make judgements based on one sided story, except you intentionally want to be biased (maybe because you feel your friend would appreciate you supporting them and you want to make them feel better).
  • Speaking about friends, we should learn to tell our friends the truth about any situation and we can do that gently. We don’t have to be harsh but just let them know. It doesn’t even have to be at once but you still should let them know.
  • If you are to make judgements, get the full story and take an objective view point. Don’t let sentiments and bias cloud your judgement.
  • As we are carried away with what someone did to us, we should also try to understand things from their side too.
  • Let’s not be afraid or proud to admit that we have wronged someone and we should learn to apologize too.

What do you guys think about 2 sided stories? What other things do you think it’s important to note?


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21 Comments

  1. simofutet said:

    Well said.👍
    Both parties may think they are right simply because they misunderstood each other and lock horns for days and even years for a very trivial issue that will take only a little communication to resolve.
    This is primarily because more often than not, nobody is willing to make the first move.

    December 7, 2017
    Reply
    • Thank you! You are right about that. No one is willing to make the first move. Often times, it’s pride.

      December 7, 2017
      Reply
  2. Truth! I always tell people I’ll never know what truly happened in Biafra because both Chinua and Adiches stories are biased and if Gowan or Buhari had theirs they’d be biased too!

    We really need to listen to each other more to avoid misconceptions. Thank you

    December 7, 2017
    Reply
    • Most times, things are not usually the way they seem. If only we could hear everyone’s side of the story. Thanks for stopping by

      December 7, 2017
      Reply
  3. It’s your word vs their word both people do exaggerate the truth a little but somebody is usually a little more wrong than the other. But there is always three sides to the story though.
    Most of the time if you are the 3rd innocent party that given the third side of the story, you will usually will make someone upset because of the of the two people will think you are taking the other side that’s common as well
    Interesting post
    I notice you like to talk about truth and a lie and arguments
    Nice blog

    December 7, 2017
    Reply
    • Yes people exaggerate the truth and you are right about the 2 thinking the 3rd person is supporting the other. I believe people just don’t want to recognize their faults, so they look for someone who’ll support it but it’s not at all the time though. Anyway, thank you for your contribution.

      Lol, well, I really dunno. I just write what I think, so perhaps it’s going in that angle.

      December 8, 2017
      Reply
      • I’m always here to read interesting content and keep up the good work

        December 8, 2017
        Reply
  4. The world would be a better place without misunderstandings and miscommunications. Beautiful piece. Loved it.

    December 8, 2017
    Reply
    • Yesso! Thanks sunshine and thank you for your contribution.

      December 8, 2017
      Reply
  5. Interesting topic. You really had me thinking of how to handle conflict when issues arise. To look for many sides of one story and get the unbiased truth

    December 10, 2017
    Reply
  6. Hello 🙋
    I like that quote on misunderstanding and miscommunication because it all comes down to that. Sometimes even the intense arguments and issues are simply caused by misunderstanding and miscommunication.

    January 4, 2018
    Reply

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