I think the problem with betrayal is not necessarily about the betrayal or hurt (that is such a big deal too), but the fact that trust is broken.
Yes, that betrayal hurt, but you begin to think of other things like, is this the first time trust has been broken? If you can betray me this way, what of the future? How can I trust you?
It take a lot to build back that trust and the deeper the betrayal, the harder it is and the more time it’ll take to return to normal, if thy happens at all.
I was watching a movie where for 4 years of marriage, the husband got a vasectomy and didn’t tell the wife. The wife has been trying for a child and he would encourage her. He knew all along that he was the cause but he pretended. He refused to get checked when the wife asked, and he would say things like, “we will have children”, “there are people that waited longer and ours will come”.
Omo! The betrayal.
It’s a movie o, but I was so pissed and felt the betrayal too. How does she move on from that? If I were the one, how do I move on from that?
Are there other things he’s hiding? How will I trust him moving forward? Won’t I just be living in anxiety because I dunno what to expect?
Nah, it’s sick. I can’t imagine it.
What that man did was wickedness. How can the wife trust that he loves her? He saw all she went through with conceiving but said nothing. Is that not witchcraft? Is that love? How can she trust him? How can she not have anxiety in the future?
Nah. It’ll take God to help me if I were the one because I’ll just crumble. I will like to do the Christian thing and forgive and move back to normal but I can assure you that my flesh cannot. It’ll take the Holy Spirit in me to do so and it’ll have to come with tremendous strength that can never be attributed to me.
As usual, be a light in your space.