I believe it’s necessary for everyone to learn how to be assertive. Everyone has their communication styles ranging from passiveness to aggressiveness and sometimes they are not healthy.

I believe one can learn to be assertive. Being assertive means clearly communicating your feelings, needs, opinions and so on in a respectful manner while respecting those of others. It involves clear communication and being able to stand for yourself without disrespecting anyone.

Reason people need to be more assertive is that people will trample on you if you’re a passive communicator. If you’re aggressive, you’re setting yourself up for unpleasant situations and you will be misunderstood, even though you are right. If you’re passive-aggressive, then you have a tendency to be manipulative and that’s dangerous. I believe a manipulative person is capable of anything (same as liars).

Today I had a big fight at work but I’m proud of myself for taking my stand and not being intimidated or cornered into doing what I’m not supposed to do. My only regret is that I wasn’t calm but I’m glad that I was open, I communicated well, I was direct, I didn’t give backhanded comments, and I stood my ground. All these would have been perfect if I was more calm and maintained same volume from beginning to end.

It’s not like I was shouting but I was visibly angry and that manifests by a raised tone, shaky voice and being worked up. After the whole saga at work, I took a walk because I just couldn’t remain in that environment until I was calm and it worked.

I’m learning to be in control of these things and I’ve taken steps to do better.