Day 5 of a lesson each day for 100 days

Do you ever dislike something or a situation or a behaviour that someone exhibited and you sometimes make so much noise about it because that thing you dislike is in fact not a good thing?

Now, what if the tables were turned? What if you were the one that did that thing you made so much noise about? Or what if it was someone close to you, maybe a family member, or even your friend?

If you’re being honest, you’d notice your reaction to it would be lighter, more understanding and you’d even be more merciful in response to outside forces.

I once read a tweet that said (paraphrasing) when it comes to us, we give more grace and kindness but when it comes to others, it’s mostly unacceptable.

I went through a few things today and I realized how we judge things harshly when it’s not us or people we care about. However, when it hits home, we make excuses, we defend it and try to make everyone that cares to hear understand us.

I wish I could give an example or the one that I experienced today but I rather not share because it’s not my place to.

The main point is that, when it’s us or the people we know, it’s justified and we want people to understand but when it’s others, we don’t extend that same grace.

Do you know how biased we are when it comes to us or our friends and family that we tend to defend rubbish? I’m not saying it’s all the time but sometimes we do it.

When you go all out defending and fighting useless causes that concerns you and your loved ones, I truly understand. Sometimes it’s like fight mode activated subconsciously and you just go all out which is justifiable. After all, if you come after any of my family member, my immediate response would be defend and attack.

However, I want to advice you to take a look at the situation clearly and ask yourself, if it were another person in this situation, will I even accept it? Is this normally against what I stand for?

It’s hard but if you’re fighting for what is right and just, just extend it to yourself and your loved ones. If your friend or family member is wrong, don’t defend them, let them know right there.

Sometimes people say they call them out on their wrong behaviour in the house or in private and then fight for them. No please. Yes, tell them what they did is wrong privately but tell them to apologize and do what is right openly, don’t come and be doing ‘ I will defend and fight till the last’. Haq. You would only be hurting your credibility and be losing respect while you’re at it.

Be self aware enough to know when you are being biased.

What are your thoughts on this?

3 Comments

  1. Genevieve said:

    Lol, it’s funny how i can relate to this post because just yesterday, i found out that someone I really admired was accused of sexual harassment (which he admitted) the thing here is that I didn’t give the normal me reaction that I would have given if it was a stranger instead i felt sorry for him i even started praying for him. The normal me would have joined the bandwagon in calling him out but I didn’t which i now understand (it was because i knew him directly and it somehow influenced my judgement) i was even trying to come up with a defence ( like it’s the devils work lol) but i have come to understand that a wrong is a wrong irrespective of who does it

    June 6, 2020
    Reply
    • Odinakachukwu Ndukwe said:

      Yes, this is it and I understand your reactions because you’re human. I’m glad you realized. Simply extend the same grace you gave to him (because you know him) to others also. Funnily, all these things are pretty tricky and confusing. Sending lots of love♥️

      June 6, 2020
      Reply
      • Genevieve said:

        Thanks

        June 6, 2020
        Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.