On Sunday, I spoke rudely to someone and the funny thing is truthfully I didn’t know I was rude until my sister later told me I sounded rude. I felt bad though because that wasn’t my intention and I knew I sounded that way because I wasn’t in a good mood plus I had a lot on my mind. I immediately apologized.
Sometimes people do things to others they don’t even realize they did. Some may be quite aware of what they did but others truly don’t know you might have been offended by their attitude or words. If my sister didn’t tell me, I might never know and the person could be holding something against me and probably have a change of attitude towards me and I would be wondering why such a person is acting like that.
Before I continue on offending, offender and offendee lol, let me clear something quickly. Offense here is not about one’s opinion offending someone. I’m referring more to offending someone with your attitude e.g. being rude (in my case). It’s kind of difficult to explain though, but I hope I’m communicating lol. Someone said that in the world today, somebody is always offending someone by their thoughts or opinion and in a way, that’s true. Well that is not the offense I’m talking about though. Offense here is more like disrespect.
Moving on. How would you know if you offended someone especially when you think you didn’t? Well, I do not know that. Maybe you could try to replay conversations and activities you had with people before going to bed or after having such conversations or activities so as to be sure you left no one offended.
Also, if you somehow have the slightest feeling that you offended someone, you could check yourself and see if you did or said anything offensive to the person.
Another thing one could do is ask someone who was present. This might be quite difficult though because you don’t want it to seem like a big deal since you are not even sure you offended anyone. For all you know, the person might have already been offended and you just met the person that way.
Finally, as a friend, if you feel your friend offended someone or made someone unhappy, please let your friend know. It’s very important. That’s a way of being a good friend and watching your friend’s back, except of course you don’t think your friend offended anyone. Those are the ones I can think of. If you know more, please do share 🙂 .
I’d like to add that if someone offends you, just tell the person, for all you know, the person might have no idea you were offended. If you told the person and the person does not apologize, it speaks more of them and at least you know you have told them and gotten it out of your chest. Another thing is sometimes or most times, the person who offended you usually has an explanation to give which might be valid (ever been in those situations where you are offended and you confront someone but at the end, it’s the two of you that end up apologizing to each other? Happens)
If you don’t want to tell someone who offended you that you were offended, then don’t hold it against them. Even I am learning to tell whosoever offends me I’m offended. I think it makes one emotionally healthy and it’s good for a healthy relationship with people as well.