“Compromise is not about losing. It is about deciding that the other person has just as much right to be happy with the end result as you do”

-Donna Martini

Compromise according to the Oxford dictionary is defined in two ways. One is “An agreement or settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions”. The second is “The expedient acceptance of standards that are lower than is desirable”. The first definition talks about both sides making concession that is, reaching an agreement, some sort of deal. The second one is quite clear; it talks about where one has to accept a lower standard.

If you are reading this blog for the first time, welcome. Let me tell you a little bit about ViewPoint. ViewPoint is a blog series that is featured every first Monday of the month. It brings together the opinions or “viewpoints” of people on subject matters. Basically I would ask some people their thoughts on a particular issue or matter and compile them for you all to see. The aim of this is to realize how people think and to appreciate the diversity of thoughts. Let’s get back, shall we?

Humans compromise and in a way it helps to get along with people. Basically, it helps in our day to day interactions with people, whether friends, spouses, significant other, relatives and so on and to somehow avoid conflicts.

One day, I thought to myself, “Is compromise a good thing or a bad thing?” This question came from happenings around me. I would look at something and be like, “compromising wouldn’t be bad, it could actually help, a win-win situation and doesn’t hurt” and then another time I’m like “No way, compromising is certainly not an option”.

So I decided to bring this topic into ViewPoint. I sought the opinion of nine (9) people, which were quite interesting and some enlightening too. As per the usual, they will remain anonymous. Here’s what they all had to say.

1. Miss J

“To me, compromise is not being disciplined in something you strongly stand on or believe in with forms of excuses or reasons. In other words, compromise is when you stand or believe in a “Yes” situation but then you just suddenly switch up to a “No” with forms of excuses. You haven’t changed your belief but you were not disciplined in your decisions enough to stick through it”

Concerning compromise being good or bad and if it’s okay to compromise, Miss J has this to say

“I think it is both good and bad but I’d speak from my life or aspect. Compromise is “not a good thing”. Each time that I’ve had to compromise, I’d not have peace of mind, would have regrets sooner or later, get mad at myself, it makes me more lazy and procrastinate more, and whether we like it or not compromise makes us indecisive and also comes with low self-esteem in the sense that you can’t be disciplined with a decision or something you want to stand on.

As long as spiritually, mentally and emotionally your mind has a strong hold or belief on something that is right, it’s never ok to compromise. And once you compromise on one thing, you start to compromise on other things because it will seem like its ok but really, IT IS NOT.”

See also: ViewPoint: Youth and Religion

2. Miss P

“I feel this depends on the situation, or the context in which the word is used, the situations surrounding it. I feel if it’s for a greater good, then yes. Also, the magnanimity of that which is to be compromised is what we would use to measure if it’s good or not. Each person has his yardstick for measuring the importance and value of things or principles to him. So if I ask you to let go of something for a greater good, you will decide if that “good” is worth the compromise and if what you are compromising is really really needed or not.”

3. Mr. F

“Compromise can be seen as a sign of selflessness or a sign of weakness. It is two sides of the same coin. It’s when two or more parties try to find a common ground from which they can operate. So you essentially give up part of your demands or “standards” to suit the other party.

Compromise in itself is neither good nor bad (I think) but I believe it’s the reason for the compromise that can be categorized as being good or bad.

It’s okay to compromise when it’s not okay to be selfish.”

4. Mr. C

“Compromise to me is taking down your standard just to suite someone else or yourself maybe because of pressure.

Compromise is a bad thing because you are losing your strong belief about a thing and lowering your standard to fit in.

It’s never okay to compromise. No matter how you feel you can get through with it.”

See also: ViewPoint: Success – What’s your idea of success?

5. Mr. T

“Compromise is nothing but disloyalty to your core values and personal standards. Probably because of what people might think of you or you need to get something from someone.

It’s not just bad…it is demonic.

There is never a time when we should compromise even till death.”

He also mentioned that

“Compromise is only on the grounds of core value, e.g. sex before marriage. Compromise exists when your values are spelt out. If you don’t have spelt out values and standard, then I don’t use the word compromise for you.”

6. Mr. R

“I believe in anything that would maintain the balance of peace in the world e.g. You cut a tree, you grow 10 more, America entering a deal with Iran to protect nuclear war. Why do we compromise? To avoid conflicts and to better move on with things that are important. China and America aren’t friends but they compromised because they knew they needed each other in very different ways.

So my point is, yes compromises don’t limit us, they bury egos to bring out a brighter vision and goal.”

7. Miss L

“Compromise is when two or more people are involved in something and each person settles maybe by one giving up something. About compromise being good or bad, it all depends on the situation involved. Compromise is never good or bad, it’s more like in-between.

Is it okay to compromise? I think it’s like a yes or no depending on the situation. People compromise every day in one way or the other and some people don’t even know they compromise.”

8. Miss C

“Compromise is like bending to achieve something. There is a flip side though. When you bend too much, you break. Sometimes you don’t know if you are bending or breaking because in the course of bending, you might break. So you just have to know your limit. you can compromise on different thing, such as relationship, career, belief system, religion, health and so on.

I won’t say compromise is bad or good. it depends on the situation. Why are you compromising? What are you compromising on? Most times, compromising always has to do with lowering your standards, cutting out something.

When is it okay to compromise? I feel like it depends on you and the other person too. Like, whats the worth of this thing you want to compromise on? Why do you want to compromise? Whats the value? How do you people value what you want? For example, when getting a new car but you two have different tastes. So because you guys want the car and have different taste in cars, you could reach a compromise, a middle ground.”

See also: ViewPoint: Honesty and White lies

9. Miss M

“Compromise is more like reaching an agreement where both parties have to give up something for what they want to work. It’s like getting to a middle ground about something.

Would I say it’s good or bad? I think it depends on what is at stake. Usually with compromise, someone gains more. For the person who doesn’t gain as much, he/she will lose something. Is what is being lost something that can be dealt with? If yes, then in this case, compromise isn’t a bad thing, it made everyone get something. On the other hand, if what the person will lose is something that can’t be dealt with, compromise in this case is bad.

I think its okay to compromise when you weigh your options and at the end you can deal with it and have peace of mind. If not, I wouldn’t go for it.”

One thing I realize with all these viewpoints is that the definition of compromise might not be exactly clear. It could mean one thing for this person and another thing for another person. Also compromise could depend on the values or standards you have.

I still find the topic of compromise to be an interesting one and I’d love to read your thoughts on it too in the comment section.

“What is compromise?

Is compromise a good or bad thing?

Is it okay to compromise?”

Happy New Month Y’all ?

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