I’ve always known this, but today something happened that made me think about it. Why do people abuse things that are not theirs? It’s not your own, don’t you know of something called moderation? At least behave like it is yours and maybe, just maybe, you would manage it better. People tend to over-use, over-do, over-spend or every other over-something when dealing with things that are not theirs and its very bad.
A common example used by Nigerians to explain this is milk. A friend comes over and you offer them tea or something that has to do with milk and when they take the milk, they seem to over-pour. In your mind you are like “Oh my, I don’t even take that much” and you just think if the person actually pours milk that way in their place. In most cases, let me estimate, 70% of cases, they don’t take milk that way. It can be really annoying especially when you are broke at that moment and trying to manage things.
Side note: I had similar experience in school but it was mainly food provisions. Ever since then, I moderated whatever I gave to that person. There are some people I really can’t tell “help yourself out” and so on, because I might not be happy with the outcome. Call me petty or stingy or whatever but that is the truth. Talk about offering someone food. I can’t sincerely tell you to join me to eat if I know I really can’t give you but if I know you need the food more than I do, I could even leave it all for you. I prefer that to when someone invites you to eat with them and hope in their heart you say no. I mean, what if you say yes? I know most Nigerians do it out of courtesy, probably how they were brought up. That’s one of the reasons I say thank you to people when they offer me something, except you are a close friend.
Another thing is with money. When someone is buying things for themselves, they budget well, they look for good things at affordable prices. When they are buying for another person, they just ask the seller “How much?” the seller would reply “500 naira” and they will just bring out the money, just like that. If it were to be theirs, they would reply the seller “How much last?”. By the time they are done bargaining, they could get it for 450 naira or even less. This also applies to running errands for your friend. If your friend asks you to go get something for them, maybe they are busy or not capable, some people don’t care, they just get a taxi and even if they are told 1000 naira, off they go, because they know their friend or the person is paying. I’m not saying everyone is like that but most people are.
Some do it knowingly or unknowingly probably because they really can’t stress. I’m not saying stress yourself o but you could explain to the person that this is how this will go down so that the person prepares his/her mind (I’ve ever been caught unawares and thank God I at least had money).
I feel like when we want to do something or are involved in something with others, we should consider them. You really don’t know if the person is just observing you, plus you don’t know how their pocket is at that time, except they specifically state that you can feel free to over-use or do whatever. It’s nice if we try handling things (whether money, watching someone’s thing, someone’s business or whatsoever it is) the way we would treat ours except you know you don’t treat yours well, then of course don’t treat theirs the way you would do yours lol, treat theirs better. Let me end with this
“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets”
Matthew 7: 12 (NIV)
This is just by the way. I got feedback from some people that they don’t know how to follow my blog using their email. If you are using a phone or a tablet to access this, the follow button is just below but if you are using a laptop, it’s by the side. Fill in the form and you will receive an email telling you to confirm subscription. Confirm the subscription and ta da! you are done 🙂 .